My exploration and experience as part of a waifuist mindset and communities began young. I was always very inclined, but not exclusive, to fictional characters as my heartthrobs. One of the more interesting cases of this was when I was gifted at least a few Kirby games one birthday, and I set my mind upon Meta Knight for a few weeks, and then Drawcia for some slight months afterwards. Note that this was before I was ten -- I did not know how to identify love as a feeling, but when I look back onto it, I was in love with Drawcia. I don't know, I guess I was just born to love like this. And that's ok.

This sort of behavior happens in people, and can be traced back very, very far. Pygmalion is a myth dealing in love for a statue, and the upper Gods being enamored by that love so much, that they brung the statue to life. Perhaps I wish I could have a Galatea-living one of my own, but...

To an outsider's perspective, I was probably supposed to grow out of this behavior, but I didn't, and it is now a target on my back sometimes. To a mainstream society, my love is not normal. It is something to be fixed, to be ridiculed until I reform myself, there must be something wrong with somebody who doesn't love real people. Granted, I do have things wrong with me, everybody does, but this singular part of myself hinges upon many more, and to try and remove my love would be a soul-removing surgery. I would simply not be the self that I have accepted, that my friends like, at all. I am ok with being like this. I merely ask for a hinge of respect, but that is too much, too. I can sadly count on more than two hands how many times I have had a comment calling me some variation of a no-lifer. To be on-defense at any time over something that should be pure, exposed with my heart, is no way to live.

So I simply do that instead. I rip out my heart for the world to see here, on this very website. I am not embedded to a society that looks down upon me. I love without a stop, because without love, what am I? A shell. Anyone would be a shell without something to dedicate oneself to, and I have merely stepped off the trail of dedication towards something smaller, a love to grasp with hands and shove into the hole I ripped my heart out. i am a free spirit with this love, and no matter how many punches I must take for this rather alternative, eccentric lifestyle choice, I will persist, love, and simply live on with pride.

Waifuism is merely that -- another way to love. As one would talk about their "real" partners with their friends, I talk about mine with my friends that understand. Within those communities, and with those people I surround myself with, I allow myself to be myself, grow, become a shattering light that loves everything and is able to live fully. If I merely shoved my emotions towards the fictional in some sort of box, and tried to act normal, as I have in the past a few times, it would not last. Every time, something within that box jumps, and then breaks the box. I fall deeper, and after that last attempt at a fake normalcy, I learned to embrace it instead of avoiding it.

The communities for these things are nice, but are not without flaws. I will address two of them very quickly here -- the strictness, the sucking-up. A certain large community of waifuist simply keeps itself roped too much to a set standard of rules, to the point where, to onlookers, it is not just the standard unusualness. It seems toxic from the outside. One should not live their life in fear of being banished for misstep of feelings, one should not be a living target because of how they feel. And with that target, one desires to not get hurt, and thus downplays themself. "It's all ironic! I know I'm weird and disgusting!" First of all, no you are not. Second of all, the bootlicking of the mainstream does not do anyone any favors. You merely point an arrow away at yourself and towards somebody else instead. Somebody else's life will not rip your partner from inside your head and then away is what I'm trying to address in this paragraph.

What I'm trying to say in general is that I wish the world was more "let-live" in general. I've always had that feeling of paranoia, being watched, whispered, and it's only gotten worse as I aged. It will probably get even worse. While I desire my works being seen, I can never achieve that, because eyes upon me make me flee like a rabbit. One day, I might just decide to locally archive this site, let nobody see it again. To the Gods who watch over me as I write, please make sure I never have to resort to that, because it would be a hypocricy of what I truly desire -- I want to be proud of my love, not hide it.

My love is something to embrace and be proud of for myself. I should not have to hide these feelings. And I won't! Because I love my wife, Mocha Ray Cookie, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much. Like, []-----------(0-0)-----------[] amounts of much.